Abstract

For the Language Literacy Narrative Essay the class was tasked with writing about a personal experience involving literature and how it impacted learning. For my essay, I told a story of a time in third grade where I had struggled to pronounce the word Wednesday during a verbal literacy test my school had. The test was designed to be a stepping stone for students to progress in their literary skills yet I failed. The feelings of shame followed me after the test yet I didn’t let it defeat me as I kept on practicing until I passed the retake. The intended audience was for educators and anyone interested in literacy, the essay conveyed a message about persistence and practice can help someone overcome challenges they face. This message was purposefully written in an emotional journey manner to show repeated setbacks and small victories throughout this literacy experience. Completing this essay strengthened skills in storytelling, especially with how I structured the Language Literacy Narrative to be an emotional attention grabbing narrative. It also strengthened my skills in connecting experiences to a larger concept, an example of this was connecting failing the literacy test to a larger concept of how test grades affect students mental health.

Facing Wednesday

When saying the days of the week most people might feel like the pronunciation is second nature, no thought required for tricky words like Wednesday. However, an 8 year old me saw the word Wednesday and felt the world spiral. To me, there was meaning behind the word, failure. In my school, in order to reach the letter Z, students were required to pass verbal literacy tests that were conducted by proctors. Even though the tests were about students’ reading capabilities to me it felt like a lot more than that.

Failing a test impacted my confidence, worth, and shaped the rest of my day. Starting from the letter L, the exams only got harder, which made me worry that I would eventually fall behind my friends who were determined to reach the letter Z before the school year had ended. The pressure I’d been feeling from myself was added on by those around me, hearing how determined my friends were to reach the letter Z by the end of the school year only made me second guess myself and my ability to reach that goal as well. I wasn’t confident in myself that I had what it took to be on their same level.

Later that week I had yet another reading literacy test, whether or not I would be able to pass and reach the next letter of the alphabet was haunting me. Passing to me had meant I’d be able to keep up with my classmates, while failing would make me feel invisible in the classroom, like I didn’t belong. The day of the exam had felt endless, as the moment to take the exam approached, all the anticipation I had very quickly turned into a huge ocean of self doubt. I felt like I was stranded on the shore, powerless being unable to move against the tides. The clock had only ticked faster and faster, making it more difficult to concentrate on the word I had struggled to pronounce. The word that I had spent so much time studying prior to the test. No matter how I felt, only one thing was for certain, the time to take my test had come.

As I got up from my chair, nervousness had rushed all throughout my body, barely having the strength to open the door in front of me. All the noise from outside had been swallowed by the deafening silence that was the test room. The only noise that I could hear were the fluorescent lights above me. The room was empty and cold, seeming lifeless, with only the proctor and me inside. The desk between us had towered over me like a wall, I felt as small as an ant, reflecting the size of my confidence. Speaking felt new to me, second guessing myself on the pronunciation of every word made me unfocused. “Is this the right way to pronounce this word?” “Am I saying all the syllables correctly?” “Am I reading fast enough?” Internally I barraged myself with questions, I felt myself spiraling into self doubt. Even though the room was bright with fluorescent lights, in the back of my mind, the word Wednesday was in total darkness, the words I had struggled to pronounce leading up to the exam.

“Are you going to read the fourth sentence?” The proctor had spoken sharply in a condescending tone. Underneath the desk I fidgeted with my hands, picking at my skin, praying for this all to end. Unknowingly, I had pronounced Wednesday incorrectly and as soon as it had been spoken the proctor said, “You can go.” Their words felt as cold as the air around me.

Getting up from my seat, that familiar ocean of self doubt had shifted into tides of shame. Walking toward the door, I felt myself sink further into the tides of shame. I couldn’t pick myself up from drowning in it. With every step I had taken the weight of my failure had grown heavier and heavier. Going home that day, I felt defeated, I felt like I had lost.

After failing, noticing what day of the week it was only reminded me of my failure. Yet somewhere beneath all the shame, a small part of me refused to accept defeat. I began practicing how to properly pronounce Wednesday until it felt like second nature to me. Through these efforts, small wins like pronouncing each syllable correctly created a ladder for me to climb the seemingly giant wall that was Wednesday. Each win made me understand that through persistence and practice it was possible to overcome the fear that held me back. It showed me that growth could come from facing challenges head on. This forever shaped how I approached challenges in school and in my daily life. After enough practice I had the courage to face my retake with confidence.

When the day of retaking my verbal literacy test came I was still nervous however, this time, even though fear was still there, it didn’t control me. Taking my test in the same cold and silent room with the same proctor, I realized nothing in front of me had changed, but something inside of me did, my confidence. This time, I didn’t stumble on the word Wednesday and pronounced it correctly. I was able to think clearly in my head, a nice change from the endless questions I had like before. To my surprise the proctor congratulated me with a warm smile, making the room around me feel warm as well. In that moment I knew that I overcame a challenge I had once felt was impossible.

After passing the test, it wasn’t long into the school year that me and my friends had reached the letter Z, showing how far I had come since the struggle with Wednesday. I realized that the achievement was just as rewarding as the process of getting to it had been. A process full of persistence, I’d proven to myself that self doubt could be overcome. The word Wednesday had taught me more than how to pronounce it, it taught me that mistakes and failures shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of because it meant I was still learning. It taught me that persistence is what allows people to grow from setbacks and that those same setbacks can be the push for growth.